The Side Effect keep On Going...

Bismillahhirahmanirahim,

I just cant understand what i'm feeling right now. Kepala asyik pening je. At times rase nak pengsang. Makan semua dah, minum pun sudah. Tapi masih lagi mcm mabuk2. Freak me out dude..dah la finals nak dekat. Trauma plak jadinya. Tengah hari tadi my parents and sister and Bro in law dtg. Lepak mkn kat Sek 10. Pastu balik study. Study la sgt kan. Dok melepak sambil menjamu selera dengan ice cream di dataran UiTM.

 Tengah fikir, after finals nak buat apa. Plan pertama Kuching (Rain Forest Music Fest), Kedua, Perhentian, Ketiga, Lepak kat Melaka. Tapi member takde plak. So maybe Perhentian aku pergi solo je. Like the old days la. Neutralize the crowded emotional breakdown in my mind.

I gotta keep my head straight up. Although i cant take this madness, i try to keep this feelings alive in my own personal feelings. My hearts and my mind keep on thinking those recents cheers and smiles. Then what is certain, the situation dah lain. Now i can see it clearly, as what spoken to me. Next thing i know, i'm still have that same feelings jugak. So i cant do anything. I stay in love with you.

Its over now, i know..but i keep on hanging on. Be my own dreams and fantasies. I don't who i gonna fall next. Not that too recent perhaps. Tapi relax la. I'm happy for you girl. Thats good you find ur happiness among ur friends.

I'm living with the side effect. Maybe thats one of the cause that makes me selalu pening and rasa nak pitam. Minta Allah jauh dari segala sensara dan sakit. I'm still taking my medicine. Dont worry. I know how to keep myself at the normal rate of evaluation on health. Keep on saying apologies, call it pathetic, but its true. I'm sorry.

I cant keep crying for the rest of my life. But i still living with the side effect. The mistakes and the challenges in getting you back. But its okay. I should be understand you by now, Perhaps i should be understanding bout the whole situation jugak.

I wish i have my own doctor...back!

Still bruised, still walk on eggshells

Azreel Feiza Zahari